That’s not me. When I’m on the road, I am doing interesting things. I am not out for weeks on end either. Other than the whole traveling part (flying, uncomfortable hotels and eating out), when I get to my destination, time goes way too fast and I always find I enjoyed myself. That’s just the nature of my job.

I think people ask me about Up In The Air because I fly more than they do. I fly more than 99% of people probably. Sure, I’ve got a system, preferred seats, cheats and tricks but in the end, I sit in coach like the rest of you and snack on peanuts and ginger ale. I save my miles to go visit my sister or go on vacation, not purchase first class upgrades.

Airplanes can be some of the more depressing places though. Last week, I sat next to a guy who looked like he had to stay an extra day on the road without a change of clothes. I looked at his left hand and I saw a tan line where a wedding ring used to be. I hear conversations with mothers on the phone with their kids as they are shutting the door saying they’ll promise to be back quicker than last time.

That’s why I end up writing on planes. It is easy for me to focus on what is in front of me, to set a challenge for myself and then knock it out. When I told the folks at #HREvolution that I wrote six posts in a four hour plane ride, I wasn’t joking.

But today, I sat across the aisle from perhaps the worst case I’ve seen in a long time. A guy in his late 30’s or early 40’s who was overweight and sweating the entire plane ride. He typed on his Blackberry non-stop until the doors closed. As soon as we were able open up our laptops, he did so and furiously typed for our entire five hour plane ride on what looked to be the third or fourth revision of what seemed to be a million page document.

He was well dressed with a monogrammed Brooks Brothers shirt and cuff links that I could have traded for an iPad. For food, he ordered a Red Bull, Pringles and a package of Peanut M&M’s. And between the eating of junk food and the furious typing came the most unpleasant thing: occasional cursing under his breathe about what he was working on.

I was scared for the guy. Between all of those factors is a man in crisis. He was not in control of his whole person. He could easily die in an airplane (just not the way most people think).

I don’t know the back story or anything else about the guy. What kind of life is this? The guy that is on the nonstop from Philadelphia to Portland and feels it necessary to not just work on the plane but to wear himself down with stress and food that will kill him.

We always talk about work/life balance from the perspective of what companies control and how it impacts working mothers. How about this guy? Does this guy’s company want him to be stressed out, working on this document and digging his grave in the process or is this his own doing? Does he need a different company or does he just need to be educated about his choices?

If I die in an airplane, it is going to be the old fashioned way. This whole thing about stressing yourself to death? That doesn’t work for me.

Cube Bowling by Dyanna

Monday is always a great time to ask this question:

Do you have fun at work?

No, no, I’ll let you grab your coffee first before you answer.

You want to know what the best part about this question is? HR people answer it in entirely different ways than any other employee.

HR people go “Yeah, we celebrate birthdays monthly, we have a game room and we have special activities every month.” That’s not the answer to the question though. That’s like asking me if I love my wife and saying “Yeah, I buy her a birthday present every year, cook dinner and suffer through a romantic movie once a month.”

Employees answer this question legitimately though. Do they have friends at work? Is there camaraderie? Are they allowed to interact without some micromanager hovering over them? Do the people they work with gossip? Do they joke? Do they laugh? Do they have fun? I can get the answer from your employee. Can you? Does it matter?

When I tell people my wife works in wine production, they always think the job must be really fun. Do they assume she’s just kicking back and drinking wine with the boys all day?

What I do know is that she often does have fun at work. It has to do more with the people and the culture than the work though. Honestly? Creating good wine is a lot of hard work (70+ hour weeks during the height of grape harvest). It takes patience (you might not see the results of your work for three years). You taste some wine as part of the job (but some of it smells or tastes like rotten eggs, bread or vinegar).

The great part about many jobs is that they can be very rewarding. HR can be rewarding. Making wine can be rewarding. But even with those rewards, having an environment that encourages fun can be the difference between an okay job and a great job. When budgets get tight and there’s no raise in the books, what kind of company do you think does better?

Can there be too much fun? Can there be too much ice cream? Of course. All things in moderation, right? I’ll eat the veggies of doing business and GSD (Getting Stuff Done) but I want dessert too.

Make mine a chocolate peanut butter too.

I hate dress codes. Especially because I hate dressing up or looking nice and that sort of thing. In fact, if I were in a position of not interacting with future employees on a face to face basis (or customers, etc…) I would happily not wear the getup.

That being said, dress codes are an absolute necessity. There are exceptions to this rule that I don’t really feel like going into or inserting myself into a debate over but one thing, one universal idea that goes into why I like dress codes.

Some people need to be told what to wear

Some people I do not want to see any more of. Some people want to show skin and it might be distracting to co-workers. I hated our shorts policy. Some people were wearing shorts that were too short and we get to have fun conversations about short length. Then some people wore shorts that weren’t professional (rips, etc…). I just got tired of the combo of having to try and regulate all the different types of shorts there were and trying to disuede some people who shouldn’t wear shorts. And especially this time of year, I get a few complaints about it and I usually make up something about how we are a professional office and yadda yadda yadda, but for the most part, the reasoning above is all I need.

CanaryWharfJobs.com provides London jobs online.

Why do you pick on me?

I paused. I took a breath and realized my initial response wouldn’t work. I was going to answer “What makes you think that?” but it came off as defensive. Plus, I already knew the answer. I was picking on him. What he didn’t understand is my motive. That was the question he was wanting to be answered. So I answered him:

I want you to perform. I don’t want to see you fail nor do I want to hire a new person and go through training and the added expense. The thing I want you to understand that despite me not wanting to do these things, I will go through with them and that all hinges on how you perform. So if you feel that I am picking on you, that is why.

Maybe not the most fantastic answer but the understanding it brought between the employee and myself cemented for me that posturing doesn’t work when dealing with your employees. The defensive answer I was going to give (that I am sure would tempt anyone in the heat of the moment) was the wrong one for the situation. It is a good lesson to learn by practicing conversations with pauses.

1.) You must do the job. The key to beating it straight out of the gate is to enthusiastically hit a home run with those not-so-sexy duties and every time you do, inform your boss that you are ready for your next challenge. No need to be annoying about it but no need to take it sitting down. It should be apparent from your actions that you can easily and competently take care of these minor job duties and you can start fitting in some projects with sex appeal.

2.) Be patient but don’t be a pushover. If you are on your second day, now is probably not the time to ask for more responsibilities and a raise. If a year has passed and you are doing the same thing you did your first month, you probably need to take control of your career. Don’t be a clock-puncher (a.k.a. the type of person that sits around years after his last promotion wondering why his promotion hasn’t come), go to work excited to do your job and present it as evidence to your boss that it is time to move up.

3.) Be prepared to take risks and experience failure. That doesn’t mean you falsify financial results until you get what you want. It is that you are prepared to risk falling flat on your face for both the possibility you might hit a home run or that you will learn something valuable once you dust yourself off. The best possible opportunities are the one’s that your boss thinks can’t be done. Taking on a project like this with enthusiasm is as near to “no risk” in business as you get. Figure out a way to make it work and knock your boss over.

4.) Build your resume now. Think about what you would want on your resume if you were forced to leave your job the next day. If you haven’t done it yet, do it. Stop putting it off and make it happen. The key to building portable equity is making sure you can use your experience and education to move (either within your company or to a different one). Try finding more projects that make your superstar status apparent.

5.) Be prepared to use that portable equity. While job hopping is not something I would ever promote, sometimes it is the only option in a dead end job. Before you go though, make sure you aren’t job hopping from a bad situation with no room for portable equity growth to another one with a nicer boss. You won’t be happy there either and then you’ll look like a job hopper. While you seek that next opportunity, spend time in your current job building whatever limited equity you can.

Maybe some other HR folks think I am throwing them under the bus here. I wish I had a room full of superstars but I won’t. The problem is that thinking in the above way is extraordinary. It is easy to find people who want to come in, punch a clock and get paid to do the basic requirements of the job. Finding people who are truly hungry for challenges is the difficult part.

You shouldn’t talk about them at work.

Regardless of your company’s policy on discussing political or religious matters at work, you shouldn’t do it. Similarly, if you like your job, you should never talk about sexual matters at all. And while the sexual element of this post is the most obvious, it is simply worth repeating. Especially if you’re a man. If you have a problem with the double standard there, you should probably get used to being unemployed.

Why shouldn’t you discuss political or religious matters at work is simply a matter of common sense you would think. You don’t want to say or do anything with your employer that would introduce bias (known or unknown) into any sort of promotion or performance appraisal. Right or wrong, that bias can have an effect on your employment (no matter how much us HR people try to squash it). I always believe in keeping those views close to you so that your employer can’t introduce that unnecessary bias. What does my employer know about my political and religious views? Absoutely nothing. That’s the way it will stay too.

If your company does have a policy on speech restrictions, look over it and understand it. I don’t recommend whining about it since it is in your own self-interest.

One way to not get fired gracefully is to make a big scene. It is really easy to lose it at that moment. You are thinking about everything that is going to change and hopefully you have an HR guy who prepares you and emphatically explains how to go about picking up your final check, belongings, filing for COBRA and maybe even giving you resources for with the unemployment office. I’ve had people getting fired (either being laid off or being fired for performance or misconduct issues) punch a supervisor in the face, flip off the entire office, throw a chair, scream, cry and not say anything at all.

To say it lightly, we’ve seen it all. And frankly, HR guys are unimpressed with this sort of bullshit. You might be pissed but your HR guy is likely going to be pissed for you. It is true. Even getting fired for all but the worst misconduct can be smoothed over by an understanding and apologetic employee. In those situations, I am much more likely to pass your future employer asking for a professional reference to a co-worker who liked you as opposed to the supervisor who now hates you because of his black eye. An employee who throws a fit is likely to get no sympathy and as soon as I get the reference release from your future employer, don’t think that I am not going to let them know every factual detail.

In short, don’t be stupid when fired. Take it calmly, be apologetic, ask all the questions you need and pack your stuff. Your future employability depends on it.