I’ve been traveling quite a bit and people always ask me if I can relate to the movie Up In The Air. I don’t know if you’ve seen it but it basically follows the travels of this guy who helps companies across the country layoff people. He flies thousands and thousands of miles a year. His home looks like an empty suite that is provided for relocating employees. He isn’t close to his family at all.
That’s not me. When I’m on the road, I am doing interesting things. I am not out for weeks on end either. Other than the whole traveling part (flying, uncomfortable hotels and eating out), when I get to my destination, time goes way too fast and I always find I enjoyed myself. That’s just the nature of my job.
I think people ask me about Up In The Air because I fly more than they do. I fly more than 99% of people probably. Sure, I’ve got a system, preferred seats, cheats and tricks but in the end, I sit in coach like the rest of you and snack on peanuts and ginger ale. I save my miles to go visit my sister or go on vacation, not purchase first class upgrades.
Airplanes can be some of the more depressing places though. Last week, I sat next to a guy who looked like he had to stay an extra day on the road without a change of clothes. I looked at his left hand and I saw a tan line where a wedding ring used to be. I hear conversations with mothers on the phone with their kids as they are shutting the door saying they’ll promise to be back quicker than last time.
That’s why I end up writing on planes. It is easy for me to focus on what is in front of me, to set a challenge for myself and then knock it out. When I told the folks at #HREvolution that I wrote six posts in a four hour plane ride, I wasn’t joking.
But today, I sat across the aisle from perhaps the worst case I’ve seen in a long time. A guy in his late 30’s or early 40’s who was overweight and sweating the entire plane ride. He typed on his Blackberry non-stop until the doors closed. As soon as we were able open up our laptops, he did so and furiously typed for our entire five hour plane ride on what looked to be the third or fourth revision of what seemed to be a million page document.
He was well dressed with a monogrammed Brooks Brothers shirt and cuff links that I could have traded for an iPad. For food, he ordered a Red Bull, Pringles and a package of Peanut M&M’s. And between the eating of junk food and the furious typing came the most unpleasant thing: occasional cursing under his breathe about what he was working on.
I was scared for the guy. Between all of those factors is a man in crisis. He was not in control of his whole person. He could easily die in an airplane (just not the way most people think).
I don’t know the back story or anything else about the guy. What kind of life is this? The guy that is on the nonstop from Philadelphia to Portland and feels it necessary to not just work on the plane but to wear himself down with stress and food that will kill him.
We always talk about work/life balance from the perspective of what companies control and how it impacts working mothers. How about this guy? Does this guy’s company want him to be stressed out, working on this document and digging his grave in the process or is this his own doing? Does he need a different company or does he just need to be educated about his choices?
If I die in an airplane, it is going to be the old fashioned way. This whole thing about stressing yourself to death? That doesn’t work for me.
May 27, 2010 at 1:22 pm
Excellent article, Lance. The beginning just touched my heart so much. I must share that I started reading the article in the first place because I fly every few months for vacations; sometimes sit back and think : “Am I not risking my life every time I get on a plane?” I easily forget about it when the next vacation is being planned. But you are right, there are other ways you can invite death to yourself very single day of your life. Let’s value it for what happinesses it brings to us.
June 1, 2010 at 5:41 pm
Great point Leena. Thanks!
May 27, 2010 at 1:26 pm
Lance – another brilliant post.
Who knows what the back story was on why this passenger felt compelled to knock himself out with work throughout the whole flight ? I always try to practice giving the benefit of the doubt…however… imagine what his unintended message was to the other passengers about his employer’s work practices.
Let’s hope the other passengers who shared your impressions weren’t flying to Portland to interview at his company and decided instead to catch the first return flight home after seeing his company name/business card on his briefcase.
Safe travels!
Sue Corralz
June 1, 2010 at 5:42 pm
Thanks Sue. I agree, I caught a glimpse of his employer and won’t out them since who knows the back story but I love that thought.
May 27, 2010 at 1:32 pm
Powerful. Stress kills…and so do Peanut M&Ms. Wow…what a great observation, Lance. That guy does have a good chance of dying on a plane (what a terrific title, btw). And it’s a vicious circle — stress out, eat to calm down, feel punky, feel stress, eat to calm down. It’s bad bad bad.
When companies talk about wellness, it’s this kind of stuff you’re writing about that matters. There’s no way that guy could have been doing his best work on Red Bull and Pringles, hopped up on adrenaline and cortisol. Doesn’t work. And what must his next day been like? Yikes.
June 1, 2010 at 5:43 pm
I love Peanut M&M’s and even at times, stress is a necessary evil. But you have to be able to take it easy on yourself.
May 27, 2010 at 1:50 pm
I am sure the company could care less. Either that or, in this economy, the guy is doing what he thinkg he needs to do to ‘seem’ and be ‘perceived’ as value-added for the company!
June 1, 2010 at 5:44 pm
The latter is my worry. I see that all of the time. And with corporate productivity at all time highs, these people can’t be alone.
May 27, 2010 at 2:04 pm
No job is worth abdicating control.
June 1, 2010 at 5:44 pm
Right you are Laurie. No job should want you to do that either.
May 27, 2010 at 2:32 pm
Great post. I listened to a psychologist speak today about the difference between happiness…getting “things” outside ourselves and joy…which comes from the inside. The only way to find joy is to slow down and be present. Wish that guy could have heard her speech today. But then, he’d probably be so busy typing on his Blackberry that he wouldn’t have heard a word. Too sad.
June 1, 2010 at 5:45 pm
I understand that it is difficult to get out of this mode but you’ve got to. At least for 10-15 minutes at a time.
May 27, 2010 at 2:35 pm
I think the most interesting point in this (very well-written) post is the idea that we always talk about work/life balance and how it impacts working mothers, but what about the guys? To take it a step further, what about the working men and how do they affect those working women?
I’ve been thinking a lot lately on Penelope Trunk’s perspective on women and the idea that if we as women want to be successful, we sacrifice a lot (including, apparently, all those good eggs in our twenties). But I don’t feel that way. I get more frustrated and feel like I make more of a sacrifice when Ryan is working non-stop than I do working just as hard myself. I don’t want a stay-at-home dad figure though. I want my future husband to be on my level. So this is where I think the sacrifice comes in for me. Does that make sense? That is what I’ve been thinking about lately…
June 1, 2010 at 5:47 pm
I like that Rebecca. When you set expectations that you’re going to produce 80 hours of work in a week versus 40, 50 or even 60, what kind of pressure does that put on the entire workforce? What if that is someone’s boss and the expectation is that they should be working even more than them?
May 27, 2010 at 3:30 pm
Stressing myself to death doesn’t work for me, either, Lance. I’ve resolutely refused all these years to let work seep over into my non-work life. That creates its own kind of risk, though; people don’t take you as seriously. You tend not to get promotions. But personal time has always been more important to me than money, so it’s a consequence I’m willing to take.
Maybe no one ever told that man on the plane that he is more important than his work, that he is NOT his work, or that money really doesn’t make you happy. I’m glad I know these things.
June 1, 2010 at 5:48 pm
It’s true Heath: there are consequences. All around. I think acknowledging the good with the bad is the only way.
June 2, 2010 at 1:03 pm
Heath, this is a beautiful post. Maybe you are right. Sometimes, if no one tells you you are important, you tend to forget.
May 27, 2010 at 4:32 pm
Thanks Lance. I appreciate your eye for this and the perspective it helps to shape.
I need to go throw a ball to my kid now. Bye.
May 28, 2010 at 7:13 pm
This is a great post and such a metaphor … dying on a plane, not in a crash, but internally, losing your sense of self, compiled with anger and frustration. I see the “man” above as you describe often when I’m traveling as well and it’s a sad sight.
My dad has been traveling probably every other week for the last 25 years, it may even be more NOW. It’s craziness – but necessary at the same time for his business and entrepreneurial life. Nonetheless, he knows it’s no way to live and lead your life into. Imagine 5 years of straight travel, it has been a little less than half his life and often the travel is International. I see it wear him down, but he is also loving what he does and he makes extraordinary effort to be with us, his family and friends. Honestly, don’t know how he does it, but it does tell me that it is possible to travel, work, love and not die on an airplane…
May 29, 2010 at 9:06 pm
What a personal story to illustrate the workaholic epidemic…
May 31, 2010 at 12:23 am
I’ve always considered fly time fun time. I really like reading, writing, movies and whatnot. I always feel sorry for people like your seat mate. Thanks for the thoughtful post…and you’re right, death by stress at xx thousand feet? What a waste.
June 8, 2010 at 6:40 pm
Enlightening post. When I fly, I never do anything (too serious) but sleep …or atleast try to.
But sadly, it’s probably not a stretch to say that we cause /create about 90% of life’s stressors. I’m guilty of this too….it’s a constant effort though.
June 15, 2010 at 6:37 pm
Great Post Lance!