Terrible Job Ads

There is one employment agency in town that runs some terrible advertisements for employment and I thought I should share with you. I am not going to share the name or location but I don’t think it really matters. Ugh:

Exuberant HVAC Service Technician
GOING FAST SERVICE TECHNICIANS! Clean driving record one minor infration ok if longer than two years. NEEDED dedicated workers, drug free, dependable, responsible does this sound like you get? WE WANT YOU! Call today before 10am or after 4pm. Ask for Mercedes or Rayn we are here to make the hiring process easy for you. Never a fee to you! So what are you waiting for apply online, fax your resume and call to make sure we received it again before 10am or after 4pm. We look forward to meeting with you!

Shipping and Receiving Clerk
Growing company looking for growing team of workers. Experienced in shipping and receiving clerk, plus refrigeration experience as shipping/receiving clerk. Do you enjoy working in a warehouse even in the winter but the best part you get paid! Are you dependable, responsible, team player, reliable? If yes, WE WANT YOU ! Apply online now. Call us after 4pm or before 10 am for inquiries about this position. Ask for Ryan or Mercedes please. Have an AWESOME week.

Dairy Wholesale Assistant
EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT! Medical benefits provided. Dreamy about numbers, fast pase, crazy phones, personable? Does this sound fun yet? AP/AR assistant and fast data entry at least 90 kmp or 5400 kmh. Awesome phone voice, and computer skills using windows based program, word, email, multi-task, order taker, filing, backup reception, attention to detail is a must, responsible for counting out route drivers deposits. In search of experienced assistant in a high volume office with 9 sales persons and responsible for calling 500 customers. Outstanding benefits and pay for the right canidiate! IS THIS YOU? Then apply on line and call us for an inquiry call

Dedicated Sheet Metal Worker
This a evualation to hirer position! Great company to work for. Competitive pay. Do you enjoy sheet metal ductwork using a variety of tools, including: bending, notching and forming machines, riveters; test manifolds, including guages and hoses, leak detection devices; portable vacuum pumps, piping and fittings of brass, copper, steel or polyvinyl chloride (PVC) and sheet metal snips. Doesnt this position sound exciting with never ending challenges. Please, clean driving record only. Apply online and than call us for an inquiry call

Jack or Jill with many skills, and many hats
Looking for a little cash? Not a career position? Then you are the professional office personnel we our looking for? Do you like a crazy work environment, up beat, fun stress, answering phones, filing, taking messages for sale associates, stuffing envelopes, stuffing booklets, taking out the garbage. Starts at $7.63 hour, professional attire. Men: ties, dress shirt and slacks. Women: dress skirt suits, or dresses conservative in nature. Hours vary from week to week 4 hrs maybe 12 hours some weeks. Three line phone system. outstanding attention to detail, personable, awesome attitude. Does this sound fun yet? We wants you!

And I was going to highlight the good parts but it is pretty much all good. Or bad, depending on your view.