I’m not joking when I tell you I didn’t read any parenting book or blog before our little girl arrived four months ago. It’s not because I thought I knew better than the countless parents that have written about parenting. I have no idea what I’m doing, just like the rest of you guys.
Given my wife’s penchant for research and reading, she probably read a lot more than me. I just took the approach of, “Well, if we get stuck, we’ll Google it or call a doctor.”
In the first few weeks, I was trying to get my wife some sleep and trying to get our little girl sleeping for longer periods of time. It was 1:00 am and I thought, “Oh, let me Google that.”
What a mistake.
Well, investigating it wasn’t a mistake. For example, the Mayo Clinic has some excellent resources. Diving into blogs and forums devoted to parenting was. The specific advice wasn’t necessarily good or bad. Just kidding, some of the advice was bad and downright dangerous. But that’s wasn’t my biggest problem with it, that’s simply a hazard of the unfiltered internet.
What I saw was people who tore others down over not just common things like cloth diapering versus disposable, but which disposable diaper you use. Then there was another group of people that seek validation (or seek to validate everyone) and lashes out at people who may disagree with you putting raw honey on your one month old’s pacifier.
That’s a bad idea.
Of course, most of these blogs and forum sites are funded by advertising from huge consumer packaging goods and drug companies. And hey, look. I’m a capitalist. I don’t really care. But tell me these companies don’t love this idea of an empowered, yet completely confused, angry, and misdirected group of parents. Nothing makes you overspend on smashed cooked carrots like someone telling you that you’re a better parent for buying a particular brand.
It’s easy to over-complicate issues as a parent. Looking to the internet for the answers isn’t a bad idea but being aware of your sources is a requirement. People naturally seek validation for their ideas but it is amazing how things can improve when you open your mind to the right information from the right places.
I’m not a “stick it to the man” sort of guy but it doesn’t hurt to take a little bit of the confusion out of parenting. Not only for yourself and your kid, but just to take back information from sites that focus on everything but the relationship between you and your child. The toys, the clothes, the food… yes, you need it. But you also need to observe your kid and see what they like and don’t like. You can’t buy a great childhood for your kids in a package or medicine bottle.
Lance Haun - Writer and Consultant on Work Tech 